Dear Craftspersons, Craft Bloggers and Sewing Types,

I write to inform you that Fabric Addiction is a state of being that is now officially recognised as a health issue by the World Health Organisation.


SYMPTOMS
Fabric Addicts, sometimes colloquially called 'Hoarding Nutcases', can be diagnosed according to the following symptoms:
  • The owning of a stash of fabric so ridiculously large that it no longer fits in a contained, reasonably sized space;
  • The appearance of drool at the corners of their mouths when presented with an entire store of delicious, textured textiles; and
  • The unsubstantiated belief that owning more fabric, even when the current fabric stash is not yet finished, leads to eternal joy and happiness.

CASE STUDY

The WHO has been fortunate in discovering a specimen upon which to conduct a thorough case study of Fabric Addiction. The patient, known as case number Pepperberry04589, was found wandering the streets of Vientiane, Laos. She exhibited a a large smile upon her face and a tight clutch on her bag. She was captured and placed under analysis. Her case study has shown us that the following hand woven, vegetable dyed, fair trade organic cotton from Laha was to blame for her extreme condition:


She was also found to have the following product in her possession, which is believed to be made from the aforementioned fabric and was found to contain the necessary financial aid to support her addiction:


WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
Should you come into contact with a Fabric Addict,
please take extreme caution and observe the following procedures:
  • Do not make eye contact. Fabric Addicts may mistake eye contact as a sign that you are eyeing off their Fabric Stash with intent to steal.
  • Keep your elbows pinned to your sides when inside fabric stores. Raising them even slightly may be misinterpreted as the precursor to a move called 'The Elbow', where Fabric Addicts place their elbows into a sudden death battle and the winner receives the rights to a highly-sought after piece of fabric.
  • Back away slowly if a low growl emits from the Fabric Addict. This is a sign of Fabric Withdrawal and can lead to extreme temperamental shifts.
Please contact the WHO immediately should you suspect that you or someone you know is suffering from this debilitating condition.

Yours Sincerely,
Manager
Executive Office of Fabric Addiction Management

World Health Organisation

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Comments (23)

On August 20, 2009 at 10:11 AM , pwl said...

That made both DH and me giggle! :-)

 
On August 20, 2009 at 10:52 AM , laterg8r said...

that's too funny - esp the elbow fight :D

 
On August 20, 2009 at 11:08 AM , Sew Useful Designs said...

Oh dear... fabric addict SewUseful05484, having read this post, is exhibiting extreme symptoms including continuous drooling, wide-eyed expression and mouth forming into a "wow" shape. She now begins to claw at her computer monitor at aforementioned natural cotton fabrics. Recommendation: Keep distance between two addicts, to ensure no "tug of war" behaviour.

Yummy fabrics Sandra!!!!! Hugs! Vikki xoxo
ps. I'll write real soon to let you know what I've been up to!

 
On August 20, 2009 at 12:49 PM , Danielle said...

LOL! ... I might know someone, who might be known to be a serious fabric addict, who might need some help. Just saying... Maybe I do.... *names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent

 
On August 20, 2009 at 4:09 PM , ange_moore said...

Beautiful fabric - can't wait to see what you decide to make with it!

 
On August 20, 2009 at 4:23 PM , Melinda @ Here We Go Loopy Lou said...

That is really funny stuff Sandra!

 
On August 20, 2009 at 4:51 PM , ambette said...

Haha that describes me to a tee!

 
On August 20, 2009 at 8:46 PM , Cute as Buttons said...

Glad you are back. I always enjoy your yarns! Lisa.

 
On August 20, 2009 at 9:58 PM , Eva said...

I hope they don't create a vaccine for this disease :)

 
On August 20, 2009 at 10:27 PM , Treasuresofjoy said...

I am not ready to quit yet!
I must get my next FIX. I heard they have a sale @....

Too funny!

 
On August 20, 2009 at 11:53 PM , randi said...

Personally, I am pretty happy with my disease. It makes me smile! :)

 
On August 21, 2009 at 2:28 AM , Bee Designs said...

I believe I have these symptoms but instead of fabric they seem to occur when in contact with paper, just the mention of the word starts the drooling off (a quick wipe of the keyboard there). Any advice on dealing with this myself to stop the situation getting out of hand would be gratefully recieved. Many thanks.

 
On August 21, 2009 at 5:49 AM , Woman Veteran said...

These fabrics are very beautiful. Thanks for sharing them with us all!

 
On August 21, 2009 at 11:46 AM , Catherine said...

Ohh my goodness you saw me shopping didn't you...vbg. Love it.....it was the best giggle of the day.
Love from
Another Fabric Addict.

 
On August 21, 2009 at 9:46 PM , Irene ~ RE~VINTAGED said...

So thats what my problem is. Such relief....I am not alone.

 
On August 22, 2009 at 6:31 AM , busy lizzie said...

What a crack up. Scarily enough, you could be describing me!

 
On August 22, 2009 at 4:41 PM , Linda said...

great post but seriously once you get into therapy about it, it really does help I am living proof, it's constant hard work though or you may just slip up!!! miss you bigtime girl!!

 
On August 22, 2009 at 10:33 PM , yyam said...

What a fun post Sandra! I had a giggle reading it...:)

 
On August 22, 2009 at 11:35 PM , Maggi said...

Oh my goodness, beat post ever!

 
On August 23, 2009 at 12:14 AM , Crafterella said...

OMG, this is sooo funny, just yesterday I was in the fabric purchasing about 20 yards of fabric and the woman behind me was saying she thought she had about 4000 yards of fabric in her basement, really! Just think what you could make with that much fabric, what will happen when she dies?, do you think she has it in her will?, will her family fight over the fabric?, or will it end up at a thrift store? I really want to know.

 
On August 23, 2009 at 9:47 AM , Melanie Gray Augustin said...

Brilliant! Great giggles for a Sunday morning read. Maybe we should start a support group.

 
On August 23, 2009 at 3:19 PM , Bella said...

LOL. I suffer from this myself. :) Too funny.

 
On September 5, 2009 at 9:06 PM , Peta said...

What a stash! I don't know if I would've blogged about it - too scared of potential theft by fellow bloggers with a similar fabric addiction!

Hey I think - with respect to that particular fabric addiction post that, you will like a saying that I use - and whole heartedly believe...

" She who dies with the most material wins"....

I could so definitely relate to the 'elbow move'.. I went to the closing down sale of a 'Spotlight' shop some time ago.... there were elbows, 'eyes darting' speed walking , lunging at bolts of fabric etc... something to behold (and be afraid of)...